jaybeasley2

Volume of sound that can
Only be heard in the quietest of nights
In this case it was only as if
Closing the door and when reopened it
Evoked a whole new place to exist
So different it even felt alien
Reminded of the last day before relocating
Ears that feel like they do not work because
Country sounds that have all faded to nothing
Only be heard in the darkest of midnight
Riddles in the things you do not hear
Doing little tricks on your mind all the time
Equally spooked by silence and sudden noise
Daring to be the first one

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whomever comes through that door next
has a good little view into my room
and the cool breeze that
lives with me
but I am not going to move
I have found the decent spot to
rest my mind from all the turmoil
and I know I am not going to live through the
rest of my life
without remembering the dream I have been
torn up from the decent warm place for
and I have got to think
for a long time and very hard
as a thousand words come begging
for attention
I have been overcome by no sound
have you ever been somewhere that
the silence is everywhere?
the sound of my breathing is
almost as loud as the moving of my leg
across the fabric on its left and right
the perfect emptiness from sound
is here to welcome my solitude
to the kinds of thought
that can rupture my own despair
and show me the path to happiness
by putting me there
and becoming one with the peaceful nature
of existence,
now to put into practice
always remembering it.

                                                            -------

after the pain has been delivered
can you fight your way through and get out
have there been times that hurt so much it can
intensify the inner life of those who have never
needed to go there, have no idea what they are
getting into and what do you think it
could mean and who would even care
or who would even miss you if you
never came around to see anybody anymore
veins of ache branching out so far like
every person’s big family tree
rhythm to escaping steps as if a rapid heart beat
stay as far as you can from those who used to know you
act in a way that can
take only what you want to project to the world
in your mind, soul, and heart
on the moment of existential happenings
nobody can bring you down except yourself

       ---

our dreams are like
playing with water balloons while
pacing back and forth on hot coals
out in the rest of the world we
realize how important the little things are
there are only so many
useable deeply important moments in a life
never can tell when those minutes arrive
inside our existences we know
those who are meant to impact will do so because
young and old all get the same hours in a day
times when people are meant for you become obvious
ever been so aware of time it becomes annoying?
still feel like you are always late for something
tasting the ability to plan without being driven crazy
evolve and embrace the
devotion that you should recieve

—

I have to believe
that I can go on living
in this skin I received
with all the things that are wrong with me
all new places to see
and the people who come along with them
when you start over and don’t know where
you want to go
but I do have someone who
I wish to have with me on this ride
and I have a long song to two to give
and I answer questions worse than I ever did
but I can be strong and
make the grade after I am
coming back in from the cold
and even though I do things crazy
I am faithful and I am here for you if you need me
I have come a long way
and I have got a few hundred more days
but the feeling is not so bad
when you know you are experiencing
the best thing that you ever have
and I get to be near you
and have a cup of coffee or two
and if this is the last day
that I ever get to see the suns rays
at least I know
I am not going to get off the ground
until I have
made my peace…

                                                        -----