translate gratitude

transported to a place i never was
ready to let go of before the
always sturdy personal reality has cracks
not to mention bruises from mistakes and
some stupid mistakes and wounded others
like a hurt runner still finishing the marathon
absolutely amazed at the yearly change of
those things i thought may never improve
every day is now better because of you
getting up is no longer torture or
requesting a nap like puzzle pieces that fit
attempting to stay energetic in this way
testing myself and working hard every day
it is like waking up with already brewed dark roast
then turning over and seeing smiling cloudy eyes
under a blanket of comfy morning
darling songs that are you just singing thoughts
even our sense of humor is similar and rediculous
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leafy appreciations

learning was supposed to be helping ourselves
ending instead in front of bosses with pretend power
and they don’t want you to work hard or
find a way to actually be appreciated and
young people dying as cogs in the machine
among the blood of years of workers who came before
playing the role of oiling the gears of deathly
progress and eerie destructive innovation
ready for the doom that
evens the score of the value of the paper
coming from the past when
all the wars are proving the disgusting greed
the real renown in denial of compassion
if that was the reminding we could have used
only if the final war
now was the belief in all beings created equal
so the advancement of society can happen
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mistaken darkness

most of the light is from outside yet
inside is where the warmth and
silent dark corners all begin to grow
tempted out by that lack of motion
and growing confident by no activity the
keeper of the house begins to come alive
enduring those who the house doesn’t belong to but
nights are when strength is slowly gathering
docking up the stillness with a frozen set of
added statues and plants so little and leafy
returning to such captured minutes like a snapshot
kind of like a film so unmoving it is scary art
need to return to the old ways like
eloquent bonfires and private satchel bags
so the spirits can inspire as if
some kind of creative mythology
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originated complication

open your eyes to the
red smoky clouds and see
inside yourself the danger that we
get when the tides of nature have shifted
introduce the damage and terror that follows
nearer to communities than ever before
as the evacuations have already begun
time is racing when you need to leave
each layer of fear is worse like
driving through smoke with all your belongings
coasting slow down rocky danger
over each ridge more haze and sharp corners
most people stay safe and at home but
places in danger have difficult
lasting effects when the flames come close
i can threaten with the words of
crackles and pops and heat which is
almost comforting when camping but now is horrifying
throwing all valued things down into soil or
into the air in a disabling darkened gas form
only the strength of spirit can help
now we find out who are the true heroes
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complicated folly

correcting the previous day is like
ordering another pizza with one right in your face or
making a pot of coffee for only one
person and then
learning nothing from the results
in the same way a person
can confuse themselves into believing lies
after a long enough time hearing them every day
these days i wake up in a fog too often
examining my life has shown a little too much
did not know missing people
for this long still matters even if they don’t miss you back
occasionally i may lose faith but then
like a huge blinding flash of
lightning i come back and remember
you are my shining star
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persevere alert

people all have their own motivations
equal to their suspicions and assumptions
recommending the destruction of frustration
stopping at the destination of an inebriation station
eluding the removal of mental complication
reading into each social agreement confusion
vocal about the belief deconstruction
even after the one world thought installation
really need to be empathic for that information
everybody instinctually avoids the idiot situation
and hopes for that alone time moment of completion
like a professor creating critical documentation
entering the higher thinking notation indication
rocking through life like a philosophy contemplation
taking my time to enjoy your sophistication
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prompt desolation

professional lives should not be full of
real fear and anxiety for the condition
or confusion regarding the reality of the situation
many have to live like their lives depended on it
playing the part
that their position has known and demanded
dedicated as they have to be to the chains they have been handed
each paycheck the carrot on the end of the
stick and when you get that one then they just replace it
once you put in enough time they pretend to appreciate you
like the ox getting used to the plow which it is pulling
and the doctor who keeps fixing the bones
that he keeps on breaking
identify how to hide how you are actually feeling
only the bosses get to see it from the top
nobody knows what the future holds anymore
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