completed as a
last ditch effort
like still breathing
but trying to
confirm a time
of death and
being as broken
as possible but
still expected to
attain efforts in
a normal life
yet as long
as you can
fool yourself then
you should be
able to do
that to others
when needed and
almost everybody carries
around within themselves
a hidden pain
which can be
quite a heavy
anchor around the
neck if you
do not make
friends with it
or at least
see it for
what it really
is and then
your world is
reshaped and it
never fits in
that box again
no matter how
hard you try
or how much
you think about
her sigh or
when you wake
up way too
early and you
needed that sleep
then you never
know when you
will get to
try once more





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tortured awakening

tonight cannot arrive soon enough,
only the clock is moving slow
right now and the preparations still are made;
that, right there, should be enough to ease the pain,
unbelievable amount of discomfort which
returns each morning after what rest is achived,
encompassing the hurt which was made here,
definitely carried with me everywhere,
and a reminder of why the time is appreciated,
when each next day could be the last one,
as driving fast and doing lots can not help you,
keep gratefull regardless of impending moods,
ending inclinde to be worse than the beginning,
nothing is worse than not getting to say goodbye,
it can be worse than saying goodbye when you don’t want to,
nobody sees my scars like you,
get over here and kiss me you fool
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possible options

perspective can be the
option between living something fulfilling, and
suffering the day, long with fools and distractions,
should it happen to you then you realize,
in each of us is the ability to
blank out that negativity that modern
life is known to thrive inside, because
each of us is just a collection of particles,
organized at this time and place in this way to
play our part of this stage of existence, and just
take what life is bound to throw your way, yet
infuse yourself into exactlywhere you need to be,
open up to the ebb and flow of being, and
nothing can halt creation, disintegration, reformation, that
simple observation of reality can reveal
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preferred distance (enough)

pleasing no one, I ghosted away,
releasing myself into the night and
enduring the company that midnight air provides,
for now just throw your pride away and
end every night gratefull for the next day but
really do not know if it will ever arrive,
right now i just have to concentrate on the task,
even though it is enough of a trial to try and survive,
doing the deed and crushing this work is a
deal only made by people trading time for money, i think
if you grind yourself into the ground maybe you can
stay above water long enough to
take a tiny moment every day in coming to acceptance
as a lucky enough person to be where i am at,
not at the correct time of year,
can you please come kiss me my dear,
every night with you is a exceptional vehicle
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perspective point

perched way out there on
each new morning’s broken horizon
rests the complication of our visible hunter
staying dead is the body of last month
preferring to forget what is necessary
eventually the awareness of always being preyed upon
can make a predator out of you
trampled on by the current conditions
into the weather patterns of a tornado mood
vital as the alcohol was to a good time when
every next day was as painfull as a migrane
purposefully avoiding what doesn’t hurt bad enough
optional choices that no longer seem optional
including the waking up after last night’s party
now i pray to come home to you
where the night is so true
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progress horizon

playing a game just to make it through the day
riddled with experiences of the
ordinary sort, but made all the more
great with the challenge of getting one more person
ready to have a better day with a touch of
energy that is filled with honest positivity and
someone pulled me out of my dark pit when i
so very much really needed it and the
happiness was as much a suprise and shock as
ordinary life previously had none of that for me,
remembering the old ways was as much of a pleasure
if the simple times were with someone who actually
zoned in on togetherness instead of zoning me out,
only you warm me up
not that i don’t run hot already
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constant following

collectively seeing the change
organized by those supposedly in charge,
not that they do too much,
so they don’t want you to work too hard or
take what you have learned and really
apply it to any other problems in another direction,
never think very hard about solutions, or even
take a step back and try to improve the process,
fear and anxiety like a workplace one-two punch,
october feelings but slow july experiences,
light comes in too early and sticks around
like a friend at a party you wish wasn’t invited,
or a conversation with people speaking 3 different languages,
while contemplating life, time does not stop,
if you pay attention then existence opens its wings,
negative energy and people can no longer effect you,
growing not grovelling will get your mind right
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