preventative confidence

part of a person’s brain
really doesn’t know what to do when
ended time here in this existence happens to a
very special person in this world
except that is not the kind of stress that helps and
nobody can deal with this surprising death
taken from this life too soon
attempting to keep composure about it
there is a great emotional seeking
in the air around the memorial and
vital good friends are in a sorrowful standstill
exceptional statements freeze before
coming out of the mouths
of those who really had one more thing they
needed to say previous to passing on
for all of us the regrets are common
inside our bodies a clock is ticking
deciding for us how long we have
experts cannot tell what will be your final moment
nobody has an exact grasp on the future
can you give kindness every day and keep in mind
everyone has been scraping through private struggles
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altogether concerned

after putting down the shovel and
letting an ice cold drink get poured
take the whole day to calculate
only one phrase needed to bring things together
getting the sun on skin for a few minutes
even if i had work gloves i wouldn’t wear them
torn between al the things that need to get done
half of them outside and the other half inside
empty the soil then
return to exactly right here
can you come here and just talk or a second
or would it be better if that doesn’t happen
not feeling like i should ever speak again and
can not think of a reason to ruin this moments silence
equally tired and hungry by now
red tints are starting at the edge of the clouds
new light reveals the same old mistakes
ending up filthy hands and sore feet
do enjoy exhausting tired end of day
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radically indeed

riding wave after wave of doubt
and remorse before dismay pleads its case
disgust about the past is already gone
in private the discussions are quick
confessions revolve around funny overspending
arguments so silly by the end we are laughing
leaving the care behind when we head downtown or
letting a forest and a river call us back home
yellow butterflies dance in my memory
intense moments captured of when life turned around
now the toughest mountains have the prettiest peaks
doing my best to remember the ghosts i miss
each day is its own separate animal
end the confusion and come back to who you are
devote your energies to the things you love
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selling suprises

some of the days are
everything except what you would expect
letting you know to not plan too hard
like a sign that means more than one thing
including whatever it is you can’t see
near the final moments that
glow with the close of evening
sure as a moon slowly setting over the mountain
unless i find you these moments lose meaning
pulling down the ceiling and
relaxing like a slow sleepy animal stretch
if a nap is when you possibly sleep best
stay there and let the stress be suppressed
endure the torture of a long yawning sunday
so the next week with you will be easy
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strange connections

sparks of fear
take their time in extinguishing
red little dots that
arrange in the air like constellations
not like the elemental desire in water
gallons of blue green and clear
embraced with all surfaces of skin
collected through in the emotion fluidity
on the rocks the splash collides
now racing back down before the next wash
not far from the beach is the peak of
elevated land with tall forests and white tops
closing in on the cloud domain
tasting the fog right before a rain
into the floating moisture surrounded by frosty blue
onto these edges every emotion are elements
narrowly slipping past and through each circumstance
supplying the world with the myth of reality
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happiness seeds

half the time I know I shouldn’t talk
after I open my mouth
perhaps it is just my own bad decisions
playing games in my head
if you couldn’t forgive me that then
nothing would have worked out
each and every night with you is fun and
sometimes i sing or dance to express it
so that i can feel my soul get lifted
soaring and laughing at the luck life has awarded
even when being tormented
each and every minute is better than
dark days when i didn’t even want to wake up
stay here with me and lets nap all day
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final goddesses

find the lost connection and
imagine a rand new game
near to the things remembered gladly
after the passing of time created
lessons to be valued and learned
golden notes drifted across the air
only it was your voice and not a song
diving deep into my brain maze
defined by the newly formed logic web
endurance is not something i avoid
statues all look up from their spaces
sort of glowering in their desire to thaw
each one a dinosaur of regretfull modern thinking
sounding like an echo as we whip by
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