when I got off work

I could only open my eyes and see

but just barely

and my brother sent me a

picture I couldn’t see yet

my vision clearly reconvened discreetly

but how could this be, a shot from

not that many years ago that

was when we had colored pics

but this was black and white and

mom looks ravishing and blushing in

her dress with flower on and

dad in a the definitive white tuxedo with

a black tie offering her a glass of wine

with a smile and there is grandpa in

the back with a big

beaming smile that shows all the happy teeth

bringing a few laughs for sure

in the background further

a large crowd cheering and the

moment brings me to tears because

I haven’t seen them all

in a long long time

Except when I visit

the headstones

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yellow heatly

new life comes

without disgust or despair

a little green leaf

pushing up through the rocky brown

a fear had died and given way

to the blue shaft of light making

each new day

a thief only stealing

Guilt and hate with sneakiness

and leaving behind deserved aches and

exhausted bones that are okay with it

yet the sunset comes slow enough

to greet my yawn and motivate me

to carry on with my shovel and my smoke

and your eyes are the clear blue

of the water these sprouts mothering

and summer is now my friend

like never before

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after the follow up

of each hours a new day

the third way through the year

responds in a different way

as the eyes taste a familiar direction

the sweet of a flower like never seen before

like the only mustard seed you want to explore

The honey that can make a nice sauce better

the seed that sprouts up a favorite reminder

no place as strong today when before

each morning was a struggle forevermore

you know that pepper was what I wanted to show you

it’s all true

you don’t call me back when I call you

jump in the water with me

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for the reason to be recognized

a family type of feeling has to exist

but that has grown into

a grieving deep abyss which

does not provide relief and if I concentrate

I can imagine what it would be like

if I had gotten any reaction when

I reached out to bring any of the tribe

back together with each other

but now history and memory are

ghosts which whisper from the

edge of the stage

and I have made peace with my pain

because life has been so unpredictable

and what other choice do I have

but curl up

with my love and my dog

and be thankful

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after the “once upon a time” you dreamt
up while we were or weren’t here again
but now onto a mountain you grow slow groove like
maybe you knew you were or weren’t supposed to
be coming
over the times listed the person and where they
were meant to go and be
whenever a modern likeness has
shown you whereupon the elevator was and
“only” was a word we endured as well as “should”
on the roof in the basement or out by a park
not a single time we went out and i doubt you
of an often leaning tower of
meaning to be there or a
should have, could have, would have
type of late night free style
that gets there
but then
beware, beware, beware

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hope is a friend not everybody knows
after all that has happened to the
vital corners of a heart so bruised
impatient to reach out to a time so crushing
near the end of the bridge
getting a sign that the flames are right behind
as people rise up to fight for what is right
gears grind in the machines behind the scenes
rolling cogs now see more than they did before
even the forests are a place we cannot hide anymore
every place you thought you could escape to is in danger
move the drive to get things done to right up front
effort counts for a lot when
nobody can predict you
take a moment to be thankful then
stomp that negativity into the ground

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predators and the hunters
make themselves known every night out
if you know where to look for them
or where they look at you
sometime off in the destined desires
of the awareness that is needed when you go out
and it is only so many times that you
concentrate on a future you planned and don’t know of
when you forgive and get along with
clouds in personal storm that made you
pry into where you are doubting yourself this time
in no time you could recieve support and
for a moment see yummy delicious soft smelling skin and then
find out where the fireworks of self-analysis
made fire in your mind while the flight
of songs visit you in our only
winter moment this end of spring
of fear and then far too much silence

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evening mourning

to look in your eyes
just takes my breath away
and when the moments last
it is magical
like the time i first
saw you little kind hidden smirk
it showed its face to my
slightly admiring with-a-sideways-glance
yet a type of awake but moon-glow
series of evenings going on
make all of the dinners extra yummy
when you know all that you could be
suprised by is the mimosa and coffee
delivered to you,
as you knew
could be true
when brunch with you is come through

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taking the moment
over the trees the small lights
like dots of shining revolutions in the sky
because a lesson has to be learned
there are people who dig for years to work and
find the one piece that many answer the question
and show them the path to thier learning
in whatever it is they finally uncover
and there are people who look
through tubes of glass and metal and calculations
to find out about the past that was
a group of energies that are no longer living
but still reach out and get a teachable experience
down to the opening eyes of a few who search
and all of them are doing what you need to do
by exploring the illuminations that your own past
can reveal to you if you can just be open to
the understanding of your own buried or far away
incredible personal nature
then you shall find exploring yourself
is the wisdom and lesson to guide you best,
take heart in the fact that if they can do it so can you

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facing the way that i know it should be
inside this decision that you made
needing rest and relaxation to continue
during a night which can decide everything
including final choices of the beginning of this year
nevermind what wishes you have brought out
getting out those words which have boiled inside you
definitely time to have this fiesty conversation
incredibly quiet and full of fire as you become
show the feeling which you have anticipated
through a wait which showers the mind with questions
ready for whatever revalation you will show me
after this month all the query time can
come back strong and bring along some friends
timing is important when the walls of heat are crumbling
i am not sure what the news will be
out of patience and not wanting to stay but
needed desire to be inquiring in a slow fashion
so i will do anything as long as you are happy

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