Don’t know who needs to hear this
But life is deadly when you feel lost
And there are people I miss and
People who don’t know me anymore
But the world doesn’t let up
When your brain is a grenade
And the times you get to be yourself
So valued
Remember you can reach out
When you need to
Even a stranger
Across the land
Can say comfortable words
after the pain has been delivered
can you fight your way through and get out
have there been times that hurt so much it can
intensify the inner life of those who have never
needed to go there, have no idea what they are
getting into and what do you think it
could mean and who would even care
or who would even miss you if you
never came around to see anybody anymore
veins of ache branching out so far like
every person’s big family tree
rhythm to escaping steps as if a rapid heart beat
stay as far as you can from those who used to know you
act in a way that can
take only what you want to project to the world
in your mind, soul, and heart
on the moment of existential happenings
nobody can bring you down except yourself
---
made up of tiny portions
of the growls you have been giving
I glance side to side while
hungering for your aggressive claws
pouring out the teeth
and sending them out to get a meal
and I have to ignore the old
pictures of someone else’s
family with wood frames and a layer of dust
but you were there
when the watchful orb came
across your skin and bones
warning was in your eyes
and I saw you look around
as if to find a way to escape again
you cant know how you found me
and I have to bite back
yet I will slow down enough to let
you see the fire on my face
and you know
just as well as I do
there is a succubus
in every church
and in every hellhole
a saint
———-
our dreams are like
playing with water balloons while
pacing back and forth on hot coals
out in the rest of the world we
realize how important the little things are
there are only so many
useable deeply important moments in a life
never can tell when those minutes arrive
inside our existences we know
those who are meant to impact will do so because
young and old all get the same hours in a day
times when people are meant for you become obvious
ever been so aware of time it becomes annoying?
still feel like you are always late for something
tasting the ability to plan without being driven crazy
evolve and embrace the
devotion that you should recieve
—
I have to believe
that I can go on living
in this skin I received
with all the things that are wrong with me
all new places to see
and the people who come along with them
when you start over and don’t know where
you want to go
but I do have someone who
I wish to have with me on this ride
and I have a long song to two to give
and I answer questions worse than I ever did
but I can be strong and
make the grade after I am
coming back in from the cold
and even though I do things crazy
I am faithful and I am here for you if you need me
I have come a long way
and I have got a few hundred more days
but the feeling is not so bad
when you know you are experiencing
the best thing that you ever have
and I get to be near you
and have a cup of coffee or two
and if this is the last day
that I ever get to see the suns rays
at least I know
I am not going to get off the ground
until I have
made my peace…
-----
only then,
making it up so long,
so hard to come up with
a different scenario
because you don’t want to know
what the future brings
and don’t even guess
what could scare you or hold you down
and I have only got
a few months left
unless the world begins turning the other way
and I saw you coming
but didn’t notice you open the door
and I needed you to
tell me more
but first I had to learn how to talk to you
and there were a few hidden obstacles
that the environment cut away
and a few thousand words
for me to hear from other people
before there was a realization
that all the other people I had been with
were so much more selfish
and judgmental compared to you
but what could I do
but learn
better and faster
how not to give up…
------
The scary feeling
Of being surrounded by delusion
And the ability to find
Yourself lost when in a crowd
Is tempting whenever confusion brings it’s
Own atmosphere to your aura
But be thankful you
Are even able to observe
That bit of reality
Because we don’t all get
To observe this world
And each mind is it’s own ocean
But some cannot see their own depth
sometimes you have to be
wondering, where did
that thought come from?
the wishing for today,
the wondering what could be the only
path that leads
you away from so much pain?
the collection of memories are like a river
and we all flow down it
in a simple single set of
beliefs that we are
can cause a tidepool to
control you without
you even being aware of it
and I can’t say I will be
strong like this forever
and I know that I will miss you in the
days that make us apart
but the leaf that dropped
from a family tree
settled nicely on the tiniest
spider web of possibility
until it had come to the convergence of
moments in time and space
that would join all the threads together
and then it dropped
to the spot in that river
and flowed on its way
to the nexus point
and then the rest of the journey
was the same as it was for all of us,
not a choice as much as it was
a lot of options to enjoy
and all in due time…
behind my eyes i saw
until i wanted to really know
it was when she took my shirt
letting me know it would never be mine
definitely surprised when she asked me
if i would give her my everything and i
never should give that to her again
gave her my ring that i had purchased
and knew i would never get it back
then i achieved a place for us
to live and her design for a room was good
every time i caved in
never insulted her or put her down once
then in return i get treated like
i should smile
only when i have seen through it all
nobody sees me like her sky does
—
torn between working and rest
after a day of a thousand questions
like one sip of water every single minute
keeping steady like that
it can fill you up real quick like
nobody can stop me from
getting back my one hundred percent
utilizing all positivity kind of groove
needlessly reflecting on all i did
doing my best to be totally compassionate
every day hurts but
really do think that i probably deserve it so
getting up and carrying on is the only choice yet
ready to face each day is a challenge i accept
on the hope i can make it back here tomorrow
underneath the candle glow
near legs of solid marble
do not need much else in this reality
——
 | Patrick Beasley Cons… on date and time |
 | Faded Ecstasy on breaking |
 | LooKOn Gaming on no meditation |
 | Devlin Demontigny on city blood |
 | Lucy on Presenting present |
| Patrick Beasley Cons… on date and time |
| Faded Ecstasy on breaking |
| LooKOn Gaming on no meditation |
| Devlin Demontigny on city blood |
| Lucy on Presenting present |
jaybeasley2 