jaybeasley2

the field is there to wean these days with no stamina
to reach the top go every day
in order to keep an even keel, try harder
watch the eyes, keen eyes
there is no need for a real word
or a conversation you can understand
can you process what I am saying
or can you offer me a better deal
than hot brains like you have
and why are you even alive anymore
or using this crap to live
mirror them in the mind and in the way
that they act when you talk to them
reaction time counts when you make a pact
feels like you’ve been here
a long time and want to be but
don’t forget where you came from
wake early sleep early and
race to the angry moment of another
accomplished dream yet pay
for every single dime of attention
face every single one of your fears
play every single game you know of
greater places that get you far
like the one chance I always needed to have
or a sunset red with your amazing style and smile
shimmering off the snow that is our joined minds

a moon sits in
the confusion and Hysteria and sighs
and she sits alone.
the electric light buzzes and blurs
yet none of this blanket warms
and he sits alone.
the friends in one wooden room but
a cold wind shakes the door to her room
and she sits alone.
a little mess has turned into
one big clean up job to distract him from knowing
he sits alone.
the phone will not ring tonight
and there is no plan for when to begin sleeping
and she sits alone.
there are many ways to bum out the fuel
that keeps the brain chugging along painfully
and he sits alone.
this heartbreaking whirlwind of emotion
that takes control at the perfect song beginning
and yet she sits alone.
in these few momentous seconds in a place
where a blade or gun isn’t attractive
an yet he sits alone.
but
then
planets line up, the loudness softens,
the earthquake stops, they hold their breath,
so
then
they sit together

I discovered a reason that I had
to continue to be who I thought I was
when I knew how ready and here
I saw the fifteen minutes that
hurt so bad I cannot be misused
anymore and would you hold it
against me if I play with reality
or if I hoped you saw the song I
wanted so much to talk to you about
yet the one light your mind is symbolized
by and yet it all has to make sense
to a mind like yours, so I just
want to show you the candle that
burns twice as bright
burns half as long

keeping my eyes open on a
really long all night drive in the rain
intimate words and kisses as my fuel stirs
shiny roads with fog
then the fuzzy blanket shifts
I know you woke to me singing
now you are mad
and now you are gone
maybe we could’ve went somewhere
or not, whatever
nothing your comment checking
shouldn’t have shown you
tonight we went there
even if you tore us all down
right this moment only, I don’t regret you

there is a lesson and
there is work to be completed
growling framed canvas
I have become you
more night, instinctive
blessed by the moon
every star I see is a
candle in my love’s bedroom
but I am no longer allowed in the house
I could devour much
but nothing satisfies me
in the dark my hands rub my face
to reassure there is some feeling
the only times
I recall are painful unless
I tell my mind so cease its service
if I cannot assure
the love of family then
dare I ever trust the love of friends?
on a tree branch
like this, I long for
freedom and flight
my phone girl, I am your
future sight

suckers and meat
indigo and fun summer
hot lights
music outside and a few bottles
but inside where the
statue of a cat with wings
gargoyle-like, will guide the sweet
princess even when she wants to claw
then black light shines on paintings
and the risks are greater when we kiss
after midnight, and magic is in our skin and
hair showing sighs and signs of the night before
turning over towards me and blinking
before you grin
a smile worth millions of miles
across the blanket
where are we at?
where will we be?
why cant you just not think and smooch me?
when will you understand,
and really see?

I have a great
life here, when I am not
awake and fat but
when the purple flowers are
upon my bed I am
even happier than that
and I do not want the
end of all I love
to be over the next
horizon, so I will
squeeze the life out of
ever second that is
available to me when I can
be there to see it,
and that is where I
will be
if you want to find me