jaybeasley2

wondering where I came from,
are you? there were plenty of hours to
ask me, but you were too busy
answering the questions that I had
given (as if that made sense) and I
only showed you my soft side because I
knew how worthless it was to you.
if I had told you everything, where would
you be now? either on top of the
altar with the full spread eagle, cut
clean open from top to toes, and only
a few seconds to realize the overture;
or, even worse, glassy-eyed and believing
that the robe and dagger was once
yours and would be all the way until
you were chosen to see the hidden path
to the inner circle. how in this place
could you ever have known that the
only reason you were still here was
to be a tool to be used, and this
was an ends to a means more than it
ever was a extended olive branch

our relationship is
fugacious and overwhelming,
a rollercoaster while blindfolded.
under the water is where the
tips of my toes were but you
don’t have to tell me, I need to warm
up for the hike back, and since this
is our last time together here, under
the mossy tree of awesomeness in the
forest of our little vacation,
but
now I can visit the rooftops
without you, leave my present to
our past, and lay on a cloud when
you put your legs on my lap, but don’t
bother to wait a year before you
pick up the phone and talk to me,
because
I am progressing, and I do
not stay like a dog might
do, I wander lightning, I drink
rain, I eat poison, I sleep
honey, I speak impressionism…
I correlate existences

constructing the
words
that this is
watching a wish slide on by
and seeing pitting groups waiting
two heads turning like
dogs observing out of habit
single people who stare
so intently at their devices
trying to settle in the
spaces between each other
and paperwork stapled to the wall
shift in the wind of people walking by
wanting some entertainment
to make there by a passing of time
and no place is comfortable
when you are forced to be there

I am aware
of how much I love you, and to ask you to let me show
you how much seems just as silly as
asking you to make, and work on,
these improvements that I have been thinking
would help things along; you have to be a
bit awake to how
I am just sitting around,
longing for the moments I may get
to show you this adoration whenever you
get a patient second to just be.
and…
first page I find
got some paper in it
and I need a cab
and I want a meal ticket
with no place to go
no friends with which
to roam
not a reason to
be anything but alone
finally at last
a reason to
remember
home sweet home

hello!
tonight is the great
good greetings and salutations
to you all!
we are the wonderful chosen
few to exemplify and
glory-by-us!
we have given you the very
best in not-giving-a-fuck
and bullshittery! we
hope that every one who
can feel this music
comes together as one community
and one grace! can there be a
reason any better than music,
dance, and genuine caring
to gather and celebrate life?
no. well then we
will talk and love out any
problem, and through
the love of the bass
we
will
be
the
future!

I saw you.
like a laminated letter, the
message was there but the text
was not clear, a mess of the ink
becoming lost in the meaning but
not a single word made clearer
in the ways that a person can see
sometimes deep within a brain a
person can make more work than
could ever be accomplished by
the hands, you knew I was here, here
for you even though you didn’t
know how much it was true, it
just took all of your energy to keep on
getting up in the morning and now that
you were having a better job in the evening
a whole better world had
opened its arms up to you
and if you knew when the champion of late
moon sparkle had planned to be here
then you would have acted differently
but now it is just the final flow of an
overworked crew, ranch hands and
waitresses and bartenders and cooks
with nothing better to do than collect
collect together, like leafs in a rain gutter
and they wouldn’t believe in the magic
if it walked up and asked for
the time