mist

Posted on December 9, 2014 by jaybeasley2

making a portrait
of this exact moment
its a cold night outside and I am
no longer going to stay in
it will be a long and unforgiving walk
before I feel like we will be
able to talk and I want to meet up
but you have such a short time with me before
I have to go and catch the
edge of the storm head on, because you see
how dark the sky is getting and I return
to my warm only once I have crushed the
opposition and mentioned the word that can
keep the hope alive, it is only a few hundred
minutes we have left until the final hug and
the last kiss but I will put every bit of
effort into the chance to be here again
yet I made up my mind and have given myself
no choice but to go silently into the
evening in order to prepare for
the hurtful action and brutal dedication
that comes along
in a battle like this…

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dream

Posted on December 8, 2014 by jaybeasley2

some places
we have been before,
some spaces
make a story
for themselves,
the pieces are going to fit
if you cannot find a way
to make all the moves
between where we are and where we were,
another tropical cloud
comes down from the hills,
and a wish is fulfilled when you commit as I will
in the opening that
makes a moon our own,
in this roof of a core
moment we have in our car
and sometimes there is not enough
quiet time and sharing touch
in the world
to make me want
to let you go
and I know
that you know
I will never want to…

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rock ship

Posted on December 6, 2014 by jaybeasley2

running a lost ship
away from the island where you feel at home
waking up and feeling the waves
made by a motion of
feasting eyes who know and wander
while we made baked goods of
strudel and pie when cold nights
keep us inside and content
there is a tree with decorations aplenty
and a mossy bit of corner
with plants around to keep company
we have been on this journey some time
and the weather seems so shocking in its storminess
when It seemed so
bright and broad and wonderfully lit
whenever it was we first
began upon it
the tales are told less and less
the cold seeps in from every drafty corner and open door
and there is more need to snuggle than keeping entertained
which moment is the perfect one to
prepare you from across the room
and make something hot to drink again
tell me if you believe our dreams are true
and if you hope the next sunset we can see
is the purple wonder
or a close relative
we, together, have seen so many times
so many times

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desperate to defend

Posted on December 4, 2014 by jaybeasley2

don’t forget how far I travelled
even when the cost of time
seemed as steep as it could be
pouncing on a thought like a lion
even teeth as sharp as those don’t scare
reading glasses calmly on my face, steady
as I take you in
then ready as I will ever be
either we stay here or go out
to be honest, as long as I am with you
on a mountain or under the ocean, I don’t care
don’t ask any reason why because
every word there is, is not enough
for what I need to describe
exceeding the hopes I had in you
nothing excites me like you do
do you mind staying around forever
?

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won

Posted on December 3, 2014 by jaybeasley2

all days
near bliss
and nearly every moment a famously
forgotten reason to find a smile
one short rainstorm of hope and pain before
bright afternoon times of aged jungle
growing becomes mighty blue autumn compared to
the first bursting upwards that fate and life
reveals, now I can feel this, our waiting
is lovely remembering and determined anticipation
that searching for a story told, a story old
and underneath, hidden type of motive never shown
a place of peace not my own, a land
that isn’t ground, a place we may hide
a bland bonding experience that you make
more fun, oh happy night what porch did you
crawl under when venus rose? I will put out the
fire, I will give information, I have you behind my eyes
there will be a meeting spot, I cry and
rave and think of you, I have your mind in
a way that I thought I never would,
I need your rain…

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unforgettable unsolvable

Posted on December 1, 2014 by jaybeasley2

the temptation had been
to flow into the next case as if
the previous one was not that
diversion which would have had
a single development of the
misleading type. not a derail of the
train, but definitely the one bit of
information that made the mystery
even more implausibly unforgettable.
a grief that could be almost
crippling was the unsolvable, the
spring that could have been almost
forgettable if not for that one lost
clue; not that it is a deal-breaker,
but it is the only time when a
helpful friend came in the form of
a bit of information instead of a blot
of blood or a speck of hair. he
loved that everything seemed so
clearly solvable, but the cause
was not always part of the mission.
the adventure was finding a
way around convention.

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apologies not required

Posted on November 29, 2014 by jaybeasley2

and I start down a familiar
prism of linearly closed colors
organized without separate willpower
like plants with flowers that don’t mix
on a decided thought-path the wants will
grow in strength and length like a
insistent chain link pattern of ideas
eventually it will open the door
so the next phase can bring it close
not always when you expect it to
organized hearts don’t detonate passionately
the way that a tumultuous connection does
reading into everything works the brain too hard
easily leading to incorrect assumptions
quietly just as important as quickly
useless pauses or unutilized shortcuts
if you want to make it really clear
right now not everyone gets to pass through the drawbridge
ending the pain by seeking pleasure
don’t remind me…

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song for you and yours

Posted on November 27, 2014 by jaybeasley2

place up
make up where you were
you aren’t only
not killing it
but you smash you hurt
and sometimes you demolish it
you don’t know you don’t win
you make me hate
myself for trying
you take it all in
you wake up you don’t try
you count one two three
you don’t need to deny
you tell the truth
you have no need to pacify
you are a flower
in the brightest nightnight…

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zen

Posted on November 26, 2014 by jaybeasley2

whomever comes through that door next
has a good little view into my room
and the cool breeze that
lives with me
but I am not going to move
I have found the decent spot to
rest my mind from all the turmoil
and I know I am not going to live through the
rest of my life
without remembering the dream I have been
torn up from the decent warm place for
and I have got to think
for a long time and very hard
as a thousand words come begging
for attention
I have been overcome by no sound
have you ever been somewhere that
the silence is everywhere?
the sound of my breathing is
almost as loud as the moving of my leg
across the fabric on its left and right
the perfect emptiness from sound
is here to welcome my solitude
to the kinds of thought
that can rupture my own despair
and show me the path to happiness
by putting me there
and becoming one with the peaceful nature
of existence,
now to put into practice
always remembering it.

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In the place we hide

Posted on November 25, 2014 by jaybeasley2

cut the fat off the conversation
and make a date of it
because we both know what is going on
and I have a way to say
looking for a way to explain to you
that I understand
you don’t want me to say I love you
because you have been hurt before
but we have all been and
I know that the idea
of someone being that for you
is scary too
being that we have got a lot to be scared of
but life is scary and the
depth of feeling that someone has
shouldn’t be that makes you see
the belief they have in the good things
yet are willing to risk everything
to ask someone to shut off that part of
themselves to let you off the hook
is not good but maybe it just helps you ease into the situation
instead of just letting someone
in your walls that you made to protect
yourself from getting too close too soon
but who could blame you with such big
scars on your heart
and I know how it feels and I have been there
yet if you want to take your time
in letting me inside your protective barriers
like I have let you inside mine
hopefully one day we can show each other
the healing spots on our souls
and the bruises on our heart chambers
while we get a bit closer
at the appropriate pace
because I can tell we are both
willing to try…

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