prepared for future

perhaps you will begin to share your mind
right when the next step has been taken for us
empty your brain into the conversation
place enough trust in me that i
allow myself to also open up completely to
really aching in the depths of my being
each time i think of how far we could go i
do not feel any less about you
for the last three years you say you love me in your own way
or even let me know why you are continuing this
rocky is the path that led us here and i do not mind
finding out that you do not ever want to have children
unless you get married and i know you do not want that
then i am just here to be what you need for now
until the end i am remaining here then be
ready as soon as you cannot say
ending every day with me is still what you want
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for Halloween

reminded-appropriately-dr-jekyll-and-mr-hyde-prose

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slightly dedicated (jack the ripper prose)

slightly-dedicated

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struggling freedoms

so you explained to me again
tonight how you just do not feel
romance like other people do and
unless i can deal with that fact we are not
going to get to be together much longer
getting that into my brain is
like putting rain back into the clouds
intense feelings like mine are just too much
normal people do not mind getting
gifts of love based on devotion and adoration
for you that is just unusual and uncomfortable
really strange how it doesn’t
even occur to you how you made
emotions like this exist in the first place and you
don’t like it when they show thier faces
only uou could revive this arguement in my mind
maybe just a few short years and we
should be able to see eye to eye as we kiss
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disappointment abuse

don’t have any way to explain
into a void of questions needing to know that
some of life is just there to make you wonder
about the little mysteries that hurt so
painfully, the desperate, needy,
perhaps even curiosity starved
ones who only accepting the truth they know
if any truth runs free outside of what they percieve
none of it is accepted and
these mids either rebel or just shut down
many of the answers that do not fit into
every neat little box that has an easy, identifyable explanation
nowadays we want pictures of ghosts or drawings of philosophies
the energies of the universe can not be so simply encompassed
as anyone aware knows of all the ambiguous stories
becoming mythologies in the course of history
unless you are there you don’t know what happened
suffering and love, death and betrayal,
each and every idea filtered through the unseen world
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tasted inspiration

top of the tongue
as the finest drip comes slowly down along
sliding in a pure sugar way
that even honey wishes it could do
egg-shell white shining inside of a shadow
dime color grey reflecting a warm candle
in the sheer of the glass the liquid glow
near the wind blown trees a few raindrops fall
somebody turned on the heat or
perhaps i just felt you walk near
it gives goosebumps to you when i breathe
right on your neck slow and hot
across your fingers rolls an ice cube melting
the sounds you make are the only ones here
into a room where
on the occasion that we are this close
now i can pretend that you actually love me
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visible punishment

very quiet and moving without hesitation
i am not supposed to
speak unless i say just the right thing
acting interested without staring too hard
become more relaxed and polite as the day wears on
like a kitten getting more comfortable per hour passed
even in total silence i can remain fully focussed
perhaps i know your time is money just like mine
unless i hear you talk i do not make a sound
not one move do i make unless you want me to
if i concentrate hard enough my breathing makes no noise
so my attention is completely on you and if you
happen to want a touch i will be near or if
maybe you make a joke my smile and laugh will be appropriate
every bite of the meal will be followed by a napkin wipe
nice to know this is all i to do
to have you continue to keep me around
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security deceased today

sometimes it will really hurt
every moment you can tell what
collected thoughts or feelings of other people are
utilize the walls that you had to
reconstruct over the many years
in time, after you have to dodge the venom
your shrapness will become what you cut a
decisive new path with and if you do not then
eating your own insides out with sadness and guilt will
completely show you how so many other people live
empathy can be actually uncomfortable even if
a lot of defences have been properly established
sields like these have saved many lives or
ended the abuse that made it so painfull to live but
do not stop being exactly as capable as you know you can be
taking chances will be very unrewarding and
overwhelming experience but you
don’t ever know if it is the best risk ever until
after the possiblity comes and
you just take it
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moist accomplice (Halloween prose)

maybe i should not have done what i did
on the occasion when
i had really missed my poor drowned friend
spells and curses are not
things i thought i would ever try again
afteri already poured all that blood in the
cup and made sure to say the right words after lighting the red
candle it was not too long before the boat i was
on began to shiver more than i had expected
maybe i should have
put the circle i drew on the ground instead of here,
looks like it may have worked because something is bubbling up
it could be the hand, yes, i recognize that
cut on the finger beside the scar from when we were kids
except she missed me so much she is pulling me back down in
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possible communication

part of being a
organized and capable individual is
someday you come face to face with
symphonies of past and future self
in the inquiry of exactly how selfish you can
be and how it impacts how you really are
let every part of being alive happen in its way as if
each part of existence is work of art that
can be looked at in a detached
observance that reveals as
much as it can, or seen in a passionate impact that
makes each action as if it is a brushstroke that speaks volumes
use all of your brain’s ability
now and often as you can from here
introduce these ideas because they
can and will effect your thinking for the better
awake to a new fashion of experiencing
the adventures of each journey
i am someone who has
only had myself to count on
needing you is a spectacular suprise
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