jaybeasley2

our relationship is
fugacious and overwhelming,
a rollercoaster while blindfolded.
under the water is where the
tips of my toes were but you
don’t have to tell me, I need to warm
up for the hike back, and since this
is our last time together here, under
the mossy tree of awesomeness in the
forest of our little vacation,
but
now I can visit the rooftops
without you, leave my present to
our past, and lay on a cloud when
you put your legs on my lap, but don’t
bother to wait a year before you
pick up the phone and talk to me,
because
I am progressing, and I do
not stay like a dog might
do, I wander lightning, I drink
rain, I eat poison, I sleep
honey, I speak impressionism…
I correlate existences

constructing the
words
that this is
watching a wish slide on by
and seeing pitting groups waiting
two heads turning like
dogs observing out of habit
single people who stare
so intently at their devices
trying to settle in the
spaces between each other
and paperwork stapled to the wall
shift in the wind of people walking by
wanting some entertainment
to make there by a passing of time
and no place is comfortable
when you are forced to be there

I am aware
of how much I love you, and to ask you to let me show
you how much seems just as silly as
asking you to make, and work on,
these improvements that I have been thinking
would help things along; you have to be a
bit awake to how
I am just sitting around,
longing for the moments I may get
to show you this adoration whenever you
get a patient second to just be.
and…
first page I find
got some paper in it
and I need a cab
and I want a meal ticket
with no place to go
no friends with which
to roam
not a reason to
be anything but alone
finally at last
a reason to
remember
home sweet home

hello!
tonight is the great
good greetings and salutations
to you all!
we are the wonderful chosen
few to exemplify and
glory-by-us!
we have given you the very
best in not-giving-a-fuck
and bullshittery! we
hope that every one who
can feel this music
comes together as one community
and one grace! can there be a
reason any better than music,
dance, and genuine caring
to gather and celebrate life?
no. well then we
will talk and love out any
problem, and through
the love of the bass
we
will
be
the
future!

I saw you.
like a laminated letter, the
message was there but the text
was not clear, a mess of the ink
becoming lost in the meaning but
not a single word made clearer
in the ways that a person can see
sometimes deep within a brain a
person can make more work than
could ever be accomplished by
the hands, you knew I was here, here
for you even though you didn’t
know how much it was true, it
just took all of your energy to keep on
getting up in the morning and now that
you were having a better job in the evening
a whole better world had
opened its arms up to you
and if you knew when the champion of late
moon sparkle had planned to be here
then you would have acted differently
but now it is just the final flow of an
overworked crew, ranch hands and
waitresses and bartenders and cooks
with nothing better to do than collect
collect together, like leafs in a rain gutter
and they wouldn’t believe in the magic
if it walked up and asked for
the time

the passing days have

have always drawn me back to a word.

or haven’t you heard?

this metal I wear around my

neck is sentimental,  not philosophical.

it is fate we met in wet green

rain bridge lake park after it is dark.

I bought a blank bound book to

write to you, that bites true.

if calling with positive karma vibes will

be what you need, then you’ll feed.

when I am destroyed by evolved

longing, I shall sing.

before it becomes dark thinking

realistically, i’ll drink some tea.

while we waltz our dancing

selves back home, it would

be a great roam, sharing the ideas

and places we have been,

once or again, seen.

ready for the day
reading into everything
getting a good bit of time
on a trip to the experience that we
have been waiting to share
not without a care
here inside
we were posing to have
silly pictures taken
while the night sky
had bubbles in it
and the crowd was exactly as fun
and thrilling
as a forgotten date
or a rain out
of a day of joy planned on for so long
but why not go anyways
we are going because nothing will stop us tonight
and people we want
and places we want to be
and see
are right here in our arms

then it has come to this
I might as well stay up all night to
appease myself by getting that little
half an hour and coffee then
disregard the day from this time
to the bit after I have crawled
into the covers while you slept
watched your every move then went to
a faraway place in your mind to pretend we
got along without anyone and had moments
you do know that this sound is my cracked
heart held together by glue and muck
pleasing itself by scheming up a way to get
just a bit more of your thoughtful aura
otherwise the escape of personal
company could drag down the sun for analysis
I stifle myself by avoiding all speaking confrontations
but we should talk about what you
and I want and need to have
not that I can stand the repercussive actions it
seems I create then desperately betray
fresh air is a good idea

lighting up
making an insane person
out of a moon
a drift a dream
a place we miss
and say goodnight
to the five hundred
examples of the words
passed down
from generation to generation
frightened to admit
that the time at home with you
is so much better
much better than a night out
or a fancy dinner
or a concert waiting for another concert
but it is not the
day to do anything but be thankful
and enjoy
a nightlight

do you know what
you are doing to
the people who are close to you
or is this not even on purpose
and that would be worse
because I know that the
torture that can only be
self-inflicted
is the exact kind that
you helped make for yourself
and you have not been destroyed
and you act like your last hurt is responsible for
all the bad actions that
you do over the course of a week
don’t get to have much of an effect
on the life you
pretend to have
buried at the house you supposedly call a home
but you don’t know what you are wasting
by having dead brain cells
tell you what to do
yet we are only as strong as
the moment demands
and you are as impressionable
as a young duckling
but the relief of a life of strained tension
is not ignoring it
and those that care can only have pain
pushed in their face
so many times
before the last night happens
and then you miss them and wonder why
you were treated so bad
before the downfall of pleasure
reveals
you have been giving yourself over
to the kind of living
that isn’t really a life
at all