unconventional heart

Posted on August 11, 2018 by jaybeasley2
under the skin is another suit of armour waiting
not a single wound can effect anymore
coming so far from an average life
over years of not being loved or cared for
not that it was ever important to the
very people i most hoped to be close to
each time i think i am getting near what i want
near enough to feel it then it slowly slips away
torture is this burning fire deep in my heart
its worse when what i want stays just out of reach
offering myself up and being crushed on the rocks
needing no time at all to be reborn
across the air are fifteen words then
launch out the door and get free
have to keep in mind the value of
everything i have to do to protect my joys and motivation
after all,
right when i was at the end of my rope i learned
the true value of self preservation
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description storm

Posted on August 9, 2018 by jaybeasley2
during the night a chosen path arrives
exits like these are lightning but silent
so fast i move along without thinking and even
clouds cannot beat me to where i am headed
roasting in a fire
i had lit inside myself
persued this game before rules were invented
turned from art to destruction and back again
interrupt the calm to get some distance done
notes from a song i wrote when i was young
sharing thoughts like i have never been ridiculed
torn between all the life choices
organizing the time like a tornado path
ready to
make myself yours
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lighten everything

Posted on August 4, 2018 by jaybeasley2
letting loose for the evening
if i challenge myself then i
got to make sure i rise to the occasion
had enough time to think this through
though nothing can help if
every eve the same frustrations occur
normally things just have a way of working out
essentially the problems make minds constantly ready
vital to being healthy and happy is
ending the need to only see the bad side of life
rally around the hope of good fortune
you can wish for help or you can go get it
there are instances that can change your direction
having awareness enough to recognize them is
incredibly important
next time will be the quick turnaround
go to where i can get my mind right
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better tomorrows

Posted on August 2, 2018 by jaybeasley2
by now things should
equalize to where we all can get along
there are walls and valleys between us all
trained to be nice but still trust no one
everybody exists in thier own little conundrum
rising up to meet the puzzle and not even
taking time to observe all those around and drowning
only the friendly or desperate take my calls
might be time to start once more
overlooking the reasons i am not pulling the ripcord
right this moment i pray not to put some blood on my sword
rain to remind me from where i came
other than my books in this room there is only bottles
water from the clouds like a lullaby
showing up late to beak the silence
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close judgements

Posted on July 31, 2018 by jaybeasley2
can you see everything through my eyes
like a lens you try out
on your personal perception camera,
sight into an alternate point of view,
end the staring at a wall type situation
jump the gun and break
under the wall of that exact equation
daring and brave as a quickly placed final bet,
growing in the understanding of being social,
empty and testy are those who are not kind,
maybe if i had more fear i would be more normal
exit strategies not required once more,
nowhere is a choice tough now i don’t care what people think
terminate te hesitations
show yourself that you can do it
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move

Posted on July 29, 2018 by jaybeasley2
if the crush comes down
you have to stay strong and
dig in your heels because
nobody knows what the final adventure is
until you are there and
by then it is very often far too late
after all
when you want to know the future
it still has ways of surprising you
but when you don’t want to see ahead
will be the time you wished you had and
the way of this dimension shows you how little we know
because no life is perfect and
no one departs without a show
yet when it is your time
it still comes across as kind of a shock
and the people who know you
cannot always predict how you are going to react
but the meaning of life is different for every person
also each day can show a totally new experience
if you know what to look out for
it is not that hard to face
each new speedbump or roadblock
once you look into the next few years
and see what you want
and then stomp that pedal
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broken existence

Posted on July 26, 2018 by jaybeasley2
but eventually even the
rotten memories come back to me and
order the turning around of choices
keeping the view in the landscape of mind
endure when you are harsh to yourself
not a day goes by when you should ignore that
every person can help one person once a day
x-ray your mind to find where deeper wounds are
institute those muscles your soul needs flexed
stay in the zone which helps you most
to deal with your life and create a better future
evidence of your motivations travel with you
now fix those broken times with golden recollections
capture the mood once more
escape with your life
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dominated systems

Posted on July 25, 2018 by jaybeasley2
dumb as i feel some days
often that is just a passing thought
mostly just when i need to have confidence
it arrives with a backpack full of worry
nothing can stop me if i don’t want it too
attempt the impossible before i would give up
those goals aren’t going to accomplish themselves
empty nests and wild waves time of year
dedicated to living up to my polar bear family history
strong enough to push through whatever comes my way
yield to no problems and meet head on all objections
storms don’t stop me and no person can either
the inanimate objects even watch out for me around here
end the frustration
make a new resistance
stay true to your story
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gifted real

Posted on July 21, 2018 by jaybeasley2
test yourself
power on
make sure the roadblocks were not made by you
just do what you have to in order to be you
have a guard up
because plenty of people will try to drag you down
treat others who are good to you with appropriate gratefullness and those who are not good to you
with no attention
prevent your mind from adopting the negativity
permeating the world
find the fire and fight the power
break those legs of those who have thier boots on your back
take a vacation inside your brain
find what inspires
play the song you always want to sing
go out and plant that seed
make up your mind to keep living a dream
break the mold
show the people you will not do as you are told
shower this existence with your neverending energy
put you foot down hard
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temptation appropriate

Posted on July 19, 2018 by jaybeasley2
there was a time when I saw your
eyes and I almost could not talk
most of my mind was swept away at the time,
passing by stars reflected in the ocean
truly striking as your eyes are
all of your smiles are thier own stories too,
taking me to voyage to fireplace and back,
inside the realm of your company
only a select few get the attention
near the plants being healed and resurrected
addressing the dry and wounded ones
playing the game to always maintain
permanent life doesnt exist for them or us, then
remind myself of all those late night talks
opportunity to speak to a
personality i can really be myself around
ready to explain if anyone should happen to care
if i am not here next year then don’t be scared
amazing as my life is, when my time is up
then i shall bow out in my own fashion
everyone will smile
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