where were we

a spider chose my foot

to enjoy a sunbeam

and the light struck my eye

like long long ago

and I realized

life is unique

if lived correctly

shows you that all

of existence is In each day

and life is destruction but

rebirth and transcendental experiences

each within its own

tiny atom of life

and in a universe all of its own as well

Yet I have lived and died

and learned how to breathe again

when the clouds were invisible

and I had not a choice

I came back to the stars once more

and I found I may have missed you

more than anything else Or

am I just still dreaming

and your kisses are

crazy electric ladyland in

a small bottle

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once

the destination was

not known when the engine was

started that day

yet when a windstorm came up

and a real mean gust

cannot be avoided

and a big cold strong drink was

needed for some reason

the stop was made here and

the clouds roll in and

I could not hear your words

anymore and there were no

more collected desires out side

that day or that were at

a desperate point but the

giant pools of your eyes drew me

in and a few black beers with

steamy soup and I can

not remember what

entered the exit of that

evening besides both of us

in the hot bath tub and

a basic destruction of

the final end of the moon

yet where we slept

was the same pillow but not

sad just not facing each other

and not the same time

or existence or place

Yet you are my silver moon

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back stab

who could tell me the

place I was at this time

yesterday and how could

I have this many scars

Without knowing where and

how I got them but where

the places I am sore and

aching are spots I did not

know I could have found

a way to hurt there and I

had placed a large wall

around my heart yet that has

now got a huge wound too

because I have now gotten personal permission to seek out

the brand new ways to cause

these pains which I only

permanently hoped to

do to myself when

I have become

The greatest

destruction in

human form

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watery

bright and broken

and sent into the light

Where the waterfall means

nothing to a lost breast who

has no working nerves and

where a wet rock to sit on is as

Comfy anyplace else and

the grain under your toes is

gritty like sugar between your teeth

and a broken ring

falling to us to the

top floor of the emotional

skyscraper to another

and the broken stone

inside is just from the

top of the ocean to a

another ship sinking

to the bottom of your mind

and the ridge of the part

of the ocean

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a mistake secured

across the room a

mighty release of the tension pent up

inside the mind over hours of

staying as even-keel as possible

touring the little kingdom

among the final rays of the last days

kitchen is preparing

every morsel of a long afternoon

stays with you when you never had anything like it

evidence of a much harder time and place

cut from the way others avoid

under the radar of a final choice

roped into a donation of effort

ending friendships until their evolution moves on

dedicated to you and what my mind concludes

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fever

each of us

flinched deep in our soul

as the heat came up and a deadly

mood began shaking the

land we live in yet

there is pain

in the eyes of so many

I have seen as they meet

the tomorrow they could not

have seen coming

and we are all under pressure

as the anxiety steps up

and creates a toll on our days

when the simple solutions to

our furious worry has

gone another way

I can seek out your company

and take solace in your time

because comfort is a rare animal

these days

but we hunt it and

find it

like a lost pet

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today

when I look back at

the days events and

what it means to me personally

it actually astounds me

profoundly

when I do go

and visit him

there are always leaves and sticks

sometimes a breeze

and sometimes not

the sky is blue like a shining shield

and I always come away

less awake

but it still touches me deeply

whether I talk or not

but I always

always

touch the headstone

to say hi

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garden is here

beginning with the dusk

there is pain behind my eyes

as the breeze dies down

the liquid that comes out

from the tools I use to see

as if water going down the drain

there are ants inside my mind

With ice picks instead of feet

and little insects flying in

the corner of my vision

that may or may not

actually be there

yet I do know that sleep is

not an option anytime soon

But my body feels like

there are rocks underneath the skin

instead of muscles or bone

but the nerves must be there

or I would fly out to another destination

yet I am here for you

and willing to suffer

so I may serve your needs

my sweet

lady of the royal court

of the garden of eden

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I like my sunshine bouncing off the moon

and after the day of light

during the time we have to get insight

we have seen a disruption

of the philosophy of life

which we all toil under

this month will stab you

thus day will shy you

this year will offend you

your Mind needs to see

a new way of understanding

you have to make your mind comprehend

every symptom of the world we live in

when you do not learn enough

the fear machine will

climb on your back and take over

we have not seen the New future

and you do not have

the same reality as all of us

and nobody does

but that is why the moon

rises

because

this existence is when

Whole solar stars

explode

onto one another

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deny intrusion

designed to wait,

every escape is blocked ,

not a bridge to burn if there was one,

yelling at the sky fells better,

In this case the time is fleeing ,

now I know a new jailbreak,

trust the instincts once more,

Right now I may find out I am dying,

unify all concepts of inspiration,

sorry for taking so much time,

if you spoke with me you might understand,

our lives are not always our own,

nothing effects me like you

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