permanent disorder

Posted on November 16, 2016 by jaybeasley2
placing my heart so
effortlessly and delicately in your hands
riddled with wounds but still beating strong
making the odds on just how long
all the wondering in your eyes will last
neat little glass shards are what
each of your fingers are made of and of course they
never held something that was already bleeding
tasty treat that you wait to devour
deep in your eyes rests the desire for more
it will not ever show its face in your words
sometimes you see how much more you take than you give
opening the door is just as scary as before
reaching for common conciousness like when you kicked ass
directly at the moon and hit it
everytime something like this happens i just smile
right when i kiss you, you leave scars
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inside, burning

Posted on November 14, 2016 by jaybeasley2
i am the many faces of your mate
nearly making you cry with the saddest stories or
sometimes the song that warms you up
if you need a smile i am your joking jester
dancing for you when you plead for entertainment
enering the kitchen as your private chef each night
buying you the ice cream you want now i know your favorite flavor
unless you need something killed which i would also do
really ready to take you out anywhere fun or just
nest on the couch when you want to just decompress
in case you need a hug i am always near
need a companion for any of your trials, dear?
got me right here
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yearly embraces arrive

Posted on November 13, 2016 by jaybeasley2
you have been so long in this area
even street names are practically memorized
after the sun goes down
red eyes open and are on the prowl
little hints will direct you where to go
yellow lights wonder if you know the way
empty rooms are all across the area where
many of our best times were had
but this is the year of change on a
rollercoaster of devotional exploration and
a lot of mental breakdown just when you
could not have needed it less
even the general health of your body is failing
for now is not the time to give up but rather
allow yourself time to collect endurance and
really power through to you next adventures
race down the mountain that you worked up
in the step by step proccess just like it began
very many people have been in a far worse place than this
even the tallest mountains are easier the way down
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forged in molded fire

Posted on November 12, 2016 by jaybeasley2
for the moment
only the moon gets to see my face
riding the waves the ground has become
getting the feeling of a hundred year yawn
every moment seems like slow motion
directions of the air movements keep changing
in these forest shadows the trees and pine
needles and leaves make thier own conversation
moss is the bed that i coldly chose
only the sound of the river was here with me all night
love overwhelming any worry that could occur
during the simple songs i sing myself
eager to make this brand new life i lead
doing things like this recharges me
from the fear and anxiety and abuse
included in different times, different ways, different
relationships which make thier mark on me
everything will be okay because i am here now
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love emergencies hide

Posted on November 8, 2016 by jaybeasley2
lights that begin to
open up all of my darkness emotionally
very slowly making every
evil desire fade like sinking into the ocean
extracting positive momentum from a
many sided worthless diamond
entering the sorrow that has not been resting
ridiculed so often that i do not recognize it anymore
gifts of rage or alone time are my presents to myself
empty out my mind
neediness is not what i want you to see in me
can i just make sure that
it is the best possible future i am working towards
even asking a close friend for help is like pulling teeth for me
shadows have always been more comfortable than light
hiding someplace is what i got used to
in time i will know what
day is the last test of what i should continue
every minute i am near you i want your love
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showing intensity

Posted on November 8, 2016 by jaybeasley2
some of this life is only for the patient ones
however a person can get over the
overwhelming need to not
wait with just a simple ability to let go
if you are easy to talk to like a shy puppy or
need lots of comfort like the recently divorced
getting in the driver’s seat is not so fun
in case the way the wind changes
nobody will warn you or
tell you what the best next steps to take will be
each and every action is
not reflective of the person as a whole
so remember to keep an open heart to
instances that you have been through
then you look around and see how much everyone is like
you and come to terms with the very face of humanity itself
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willpower destroyed .

Posted on November 3, 2016 by jaybeasley2
when you said what you did
it became clear exactly how you
let the caring overrun everything else
like a wolf who will not share a bone or
playing children who each need thier own toy and crib
only you are the kind who shall
wait as ong as you have to in order to
get what they want or not let someone else get what they want
ribs that cage the rage and
do not deny the diamond blades cutting your insides
empty nest that was never full has a
story to tell if there was any interest yet
there are damaged taste buds to
reveal how off the mark your preferences are
on the occasion that you go that deep into self analysis
yours is the mind only interested in your own
evolution into the type of person you would rather be,
destiny is the clown chasing you
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prepared for future

Posted on November 2, 2016 by jaybeasley2
perhaps you will begin to share your mind
right when the next step has been taken for us
empty your brain into the conversation
place enough trust in me that i
allow myself to also open up completely to
really aching in the depths of my being
each time i think of how far we could go i
do not feel any less about you
for the last three years you say you love me in your own way
or even let me know why you are continuing this
rocky is the path that led us here and i do not mind
finding out that you do not ever want to have children
unless you get married and i know you do not want that
then i am just here to be what you need for now
until the end i am remaining here then be
ready as soon as you cannot say
ending every day with me is still what you want
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for Halloween

Posted on October 30, 2016 by jaybeasley2

reminded-appropriately-dr-jekyll-and-mr-hyde-prose

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slightly dedicated (jack the ripper prose)

Posted on October 27, 2016 by jaybeasley2

slightly-dedicated

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